ashgggfajfhgsakjfhgskjfhgsfjgsdjgf. i want to have a perfect life. theres nothing i hate more than my own life. i wish i appreciated what i have left. but i cant.i need and miss you. why am i so selfish in this way. i still have somethings left. but none of that is you. i need you. i wonder how much longer im gonna last. not much i think. i dont really mind. ill be happier with you.

i know you know that im hurting inside, you try to ignore cause then we both know youll hurt. i would imagine noone would want to see there child hurt.. then again youve hurt all three of us time and time again so theres a part of me saying you know im hurting but dont want to admit to it and another part saying you have no idea. your the only person who i want to be asked “what do you want” i try i try to tell you what im really feeling but  you just ignore me and change the subject why dont you love me like you used to your daughters where your everything we need you now more than ever… step up to the plate and realize this..before its to late.

I wonder if there’s ever going to be a day in my life were I actually will be grateful for this life god gave me…as for now I hate every single second of it and just wanna be with my mom. #selfish